No more...

I stood still erectly, looking at the road ahead of me. More precisely, it is a T-junction. I stand aright at the bustle intersection point where vehicles are passing. It was a sweltering afternoon, beams of sunlight reflect on my face fervidly. Intolerable high temperature compelled the transpiration rate in my body to increase, sweat beaded on my forehead.

There is a parking space that I acquaintance with, my eyes fixed on the confine space spontaneously. However, the Rabbit would not wait for me at there anymore. The same situation I'm in now and the vehicles on the road are likewise -- nothing special, everything is the same as always ostensibly. But, there is a significant diffference for me !

It isn't there anymore, no more. I want to pursue after it, but grievely it prevent me from chasing. I miss it's smile, the dazzingly one. I just, I just want it to smile merely for me once again, this would satisfy my cupidity.

When the Rabbit will stop there only for me once more ?

I miss you, do you ?

by_bittercoffee ^^

the PASSION

It's still remain fresh in my memory that the purpose I open this blog is to note down the sweet and sour in my life. But...I found that the enthusiastic flame have gone out. The times I write on here become lesser and lesser, unless there is something special.

I read all of my older posts and I found that I am actually an absolute pessimist, as most of my friends said, my blog is always grief. Well, I hope I'm not. LOL, from this day onwards, I want to rekindle the blaze I once had, with no more entirely sorrow, but a bit as complements of my tedious writing.

On 01012010, I read a horoscopic book. The book mentions that Cancers have a hard life this year and there is only 1 star for the all-year luck. Gosh, see...how awful it is, sigh. Yea, I should work really really hard for this year to do my best in the external exams. Hope I could attain my targets and aim for A* ( 90/100%; so-called A star ), but only abnormal can get A*. I know I couldn't get it ( I'm too stupid ) but just take it as an impetus that always remind me to work hard, xD.

MUET and IELTS worrying me much. Sigh.....only english in my life, no more chinese ya !!! Seriously, Esthar, PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH !!! I'm not "chuan" , but I have to speak english. Bear in mind, whoever speaks other than english will be amersed to treat a meal. Thanks for your co-operation.

by_bittercoffee ^^

Shopping...

Players: York Hang, Ling Ming, Miss Coffee

Venue: 1 Utama



After class, we went to 1U for shopping !!!

Chinese New Year is around the corner, but I still haven't owned even a new cloth yet. So, I asked them to go to 1U.



Shopping list:

1. branded wallet

2. english fiction book

3. mascara

4. honey

5. perfume

6. nail polish

7. clothes

8. jeans short-pants

I hope I'm not too greedy for all those above. But, I only bought 1 cloth and english fiction book !!! Isshhh, broke but daren't to request for more money. Is there anyone vonlunteer to present me as CNY or Valentine's Day pressies ?! xD...sad case sia. I want the wallet......and the perfume !!! Hmph...keep thinking of it though on the way back home, haiz.

Well, we had our dinner at Xian Ding Wei. Hrm, quite a good recommendation to you guys. I ordered an oyster noodle while the other two pretties ordered sets. It's tasty, at least it suit our appetite, but how about yours' ? Yet, I like it's chilli sauce...It is considered as spicy for me, so it's really hot for those whose taste are lite.

p/s: WALLET...I want you badly !!!

by_bittercoffee ^^

What happened on me ?

What had happened on me ???
I knew it well, something uneaseness that I couldn't control.
But I have to control it, prevent it from expending immensely inside my body.

I was really REALLY really
shocked + feared + grieved
when heard what you said to me.
It really surprised me and made me wordless instantly.
Actually disappointed rather than shocked.
What you guessed was right, my voice was deep and sullen...
Please don't take that as a joke with me, I scared...
You know, I totally relieved when I knew the fact >.<"

Sigh, I don't know what are you thinking about ?!
But you do so close with me...
Maybe the life way we lead are different and it means not much to you after all, but it takes root in my heart tardily.
I don't know what should I do ?
It's more than I expected...
INSECURE, I don't want to be hurted anymore !!!

p/s: I feel distress the lifestyle you lead...overwhelmed by pressure, but I was even more sad for I can't help you at all !!!

by_bittercoffee ^^

he CHANGE...

I am surprised that you had changed totally !!!

I am touch when you told me all that.

My tears almost come out of my eyes, my feeling was complicated........

Actually, I miss you too.

But why? Why the time just doesn't match ???

You are the one who ever gave me the feeling,

THE ONE,

as your name, The One.

I think I very understand you,

about your characters, attitudes, and manners,

I know about you thoroughly !!!

From our talk,

I know you change is because of me,

I believe it and accept it,

yet.....very happy with it !!!

Previously,

I had a mind intend to turn you into a good egg,

but I failed to do so since then.

Now,

I realized that I did it actually!!!

Maybe I should thanks to XXX,

due to her words, he change........

I respect you as my mom, and I miss you too !!!

But...........all of these are just too late.

If, if you told me all of these when your birthday,

I must nod my head as a child.

However, you had missed the golden opportunity that given for you.

I just want to tell you, you are SUCCESS !!!

YOU ARE SUCCESS !!!

Just keep on the pace, and maybe few years later everything will be different ?!

Including my perception on you ?!

Who knows ??!!

You can do that without me.....

Believe yourself and believe me too, I will always be with you though when you need me.

Keep on changing,

until I think you passed my requirements.

Today is a good day indeed !!!

by_bittercoffee ^^

what IF

What if

we never meet.

What if

we never know each other.

What if

we never contact.

What if

I never admit it.

What if

you never admit it.

What if

I never fall in love with you.

What if

the past are not memories.

What if

we never be like now.

What if

you love me.

What if

What if

What if,

I'm your lover...

Then all the above WHAT IF would not be established.

by_bittercoffee ^^

StiLL

Still, no any progress as I expected.

STRANGERS...
WHATEVER....

Maybe we are not considered as Friend as well,
because we never talk, no contact, even never have eye contact.
I don't kow why and when we have become like this?!
Yet, all of this just like come very naturally, without any sign.
*it, never been explained...
It's horrible and fearful.
Well, these are definitely NOT what I want.

But....nothing I could do right ?!
So what is the next step I should take?


KEEP CHASING PAVEMENTS,
EVEN IF IT LEADS NO WHERE...


by_bittercoffee ^^