bye ~ ~ ~

Yea...
Tomorrow i will go genting
is to work, but not to play !!
HaHa, I will work in casino as a dealer...
Before this,
there are training for 3 weeks n a workout
But, just can be a dealer if I pass the workout...

I go there for 3 months,
or I think will be extend to 4 or 5 months
Because matrikulasi start its term around May,
and Form 6 is around June...

My brother worked at genting before...
As he told me,
there is very very BORING
Yea,
For me, I dont like go genting !
Because the comsumption is HUGE,
Outdoor games need to wait a LONG queue,
Indoor games are not challenging,
as for the Ghost House n 'Believe It Or Not', I ever entered before...

OH no...
So, no amusement for me!!!
What I can do at there?
Roaming around?

Here, there is all to me
mum's cooking,
dad's nag,
brother's stoniness,
sisters' regard,
friends' laughter

All the memories at here...

I would miss my family and all my friendsS...

SOB SOB...
Well,
I would stop writing the blog after tomorrow
MISS you all ya...

by_bittercoffee ^^

生气！！！

前天我很迟睡，
大概三四点吧？！（忘了）
所以隔天就很迟起来-中午１２点
因为哦，
和一个人在msn聊到很夜
还是头一次聊到那么夜晚滴
突然觉得好对不起自己的身体
还几怕豆豆长满脸一下地。。。

所以就说不要聊到那么夜啊！

后来晚上online有一个人就说要去吃晚餐，
要我等一小时
我就说ok咯。。。
哪知，
我等到十一点多他才出现
OMG
sangat geram ni...!!!
超过一小时已经不耐烦了，
因为我觉得上网超无聊的
无所事事
没关系咯，我就等咯终于。。。
我要用“终于”这个字哦
他出现了。。。

so shit
真想问他：
老兄，现在几点了？
真是的！

算了啦，
今天气消了
只是想表达一下内心的感受。
这文章可以说是no point，
呵呵

by_bittercoffee ^^

choiceS ???

Finally...
I had made the desicion
only after I chat with my xg
Thanks ya, BoonLin xg
He got JPA, n taking medic course now
He got straight all A1 in his SPM, the total is 13
see, how brilliant he is !
wahaha...

I'm going to take medic course

My xg made me think about a poem...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travelled both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Thought as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black,
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads in to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Well, mayb i should plan another road if this road has failed
but
I don know another viable road except for medic course...
In human life,
always need to make decision,
I hate it...

this decision may change my whole life afterward
about the people to encounter,
about the fate,
about the thinking,
about the speech,
and...about the effort to make for !

no matter what would change my mind for now
I believe to myself !
and I know I can do it !

so,
JUST DO IT...

by_bittercoffee ^^

〈未知数〉

不知何时开始有这种感觉？
杀那间
觉得很彷徨、无助。。。

未来会是什么样子？

对了，
打从踏出考场的那一刻起
应该是那时候开始吧
这 feeling 就没有缺席过
它让我没有食欲
也没有一天睡得好

期待着未来
却也害怕它的降临
脑海里浮现出许多的不确定
想象着以后的自己

志愿与实况出现冲突。。。

For志愿：
我想当一名医生
梦想着能到非洲的穷困地区当医疗队的义工
十分有意义哦
也觉得自己有那么一点点的伟大
呵呵（不好意思哦，偶这样说偶自己）

For实况：
家人不赞成，但没反对
都是报纸的错啦！！
那天头版哦
大大个字写着：
医科生神经问题严重

老爸说
当医生压力很大
而且会被政府调去别的地方实习
如果派到你去城市的地方就不打紧
最怕的是被派到去偏僻的 kampung kampung 地方就惨了
而且还要作上10年
对于华人又不容易申请去别的地方
如果你以后有男友还是结了婚，
要隔阂两地哦
你可以吗？

我可以吗？
我不知道。。。

工作时间是 24 小时 on call
如果你在约会的时候被 call 到
也要赶到那里
要牺牲和爱人一起的时间
还有哦
拜六礼拜好像还要做工哦
那不是没得放松？

而且哦
压力大到。。。
万一开错药医死人怎么办？
给人 sue 到鸡呕鸭血
而且
我家人时常说我笨手笨脚
可是我要在这里郑重说明：
我对于我该做的事是〈〈绝对〉〉不会那样，
反而会做得更好
只是
没人相信我

本来的信心是不被动摇的
可是听了那些话
shyt ！！！
竟然开始有那么一点点动摇
因为我很自私咯
我不会把我的全部时间都放在医人
我还要时间去寻找对象、拍拖
放松自己
还有家人
所以，
致命的是 [时间]

我真的很想当医生
这至少是我这么久以来对它最有兴趣的一个
也想在医学方面有什么突破，
或者什么贡献
还曾经奢望自己可以拿诺贝尔奖（哈哈，简直是妄想）

虽然动摇了，
可是我会慢慢的重建信心
把它们统统给找回来
我是不会放弃的。。。

------憧憬的未来
------我来了。。。

------DOCTOR
------I'm coming...

by_bittercoffee ^^

END_START

他的身边有了另一个她
而我的身旁再也看不见他

就
连
星星都有月亮做伴
为什么我却没有这权力？

_寂_有_寞_相伴

而我就只有一人

比_寂_或_寞_更孤单

是否，
我注定一个人过日子？

是否，
我会遇上另一个他？
而他，
会是我永远的幸福吗？

受伤后，
觉得没有人会喜欢我
笨笨的我

害怕再次受伤。。。

对爱失去信心！

可
现在，
我把消沉远离我
振作靠近我...

林志炫告诉我要越爱越勇
要敢爱敢恨
要肯定执著
就算是错的，
但至少你有努力过就不会觉得是可惜的！

好吧，
余雯嘉，加油吧！
是那个臭男人不懂得珍惜你！
你没必要为他伤心流泪！
努力追求下一个幸福吧！

幸福摩天轮会载着我的幸福飙到最高处吗？
我等待着。。。

by_bittercoffee ^^

我到底想怎样？

What I'm thinking?
In my brain, I think wisely...
In my heart, I just wanna follow what i want = unwisely...

旧的不好
可是我偏偏喜欢
而新的选择多得眼花缭乱
不知如何作出抉择
一旦选错了会后悔一辈子

对于他*，
我该放下吗？
嘴里说是放下了
可心里真是那样想吗？
他毕竟是我最最最。。。的。。。

我是想进或退？
我已分不清
心是想前进的
脑袋却让我止步

其实我很早就作了决定
可
心
却
隐隐作痛

对于它*，
我又能怎样？

哈哈，别误会
我说的只是电话！
电话店跑了几趟，
上网找了又找
终于
选择了 Samsung 的 U700 做我的伴侣

我选择了它*
可他*呢？

我该怎样？

by_bittercoffee ^^

Finally...Relieved

Today was my last exam day !!!

Woosh~~
Before time's up, I went out of the hall.
I'm just too impatient to wait for going to Bt.Tinggi JJ to sing k with my pal...

ViVi
Stephy
Esthar
Joy
Kai Lun
Qing
I

Well, 7 of us having a gladsome day at GREENBOX
shout out loudly when singing,
maybe it is just for releasing pressure that embedded within me...

we having steamboat after this
Regrettable, that steamboat was awfully unpalatable i ever eat
Whoops...!
In the sequel, we cheers by using chinese tea instead of beer
HaHaHawhat we cheer for?

OMG...

lock stock n barrel, everything
future, health, happiness, blessedness n even spouse or child

A crazy idea emerged in my mind then,
standing on the pedestrian overbridge,
seeing the oncoming cars below
and shout out as loud as i could
I want a folie recollection for my youthhood as well...
I stood midmost of a T-junction when we are ready to back home,
I was in the dark for that moment......
I wonder which road I should choose for my future?

er, I have to think over it....

by_bittercoffee ^^