0623

LOL, since I start the post with "LOL", you can guess that my mood is quite good. All of this is because of many surprises I got in this year birthday.

Firstly, the message inbox is like usual -- a great many birthday wishes from my friends, including him. I was standing in amazement, I thought he won't wish me even though he remember my birthday because I rake over him when his birthday.
Surprisingly, there are 10 people called me to wish me, and some of them even sang the birthday song to me. Haha, this year was the first year I received calls from friends that wish me happy birthday. And the number of calls are amazedly many ! What I can reply them only thank you and laughter. Hahahaaa.
I didn't expect that I'll receive any pressie from anyone, but I was pleasantly surprised that I did get some pressies from my friends.
One more thing, my aunt that is same birthday with me visit to my house today. Haha, I do miss her, my uncle and my lovely cousin that is from China. So we snapping at FGS DongZen in the afternoon and have a chat with them. Will pay a visit to Genting before my cousin goes back to China.
At night, I had dinner at Tao which located in Kota Damansara with a special person. I thought we'll go back after that, but we went to Puchong to look on the night view. That is the place that I intend to go long time ago, but no chance allow me to witness the beauty of Puchong. Today, I witness the sheenful Puchong. Satisfied.

However, he didn't call me or even text me to wish me a happy birthday.
Maybe I am just too clinging to his wish.
Yea, I'm. I do miss him so much.

by_bittercoffee

愿望

以往的我，总是很期待生日的到来。
因为总是期待着心爱的人给我的惊喜；就算没有也没关系，只要他陪在我身边，那就够了！
现在的我，却对生日没有特别的兴奋。
因为我心爱的人不在我身边，就连一句生日快乐都没有！

今年是第三年单身的生日，可悲啊，没市场咯！
我并没有想要大势的庆祝，也不希望别人费心的挑礼物给我。
不知怎么的，突然对生日没有怎样特别的感觉。
还不是普普通通的一天，平凡地呼吸着大家所呼吸的空气；上天也不会特别眷顾我，让他陪在我身边！不要说陪在我身边，就连见个面门儿都没！

其实，我不喜欢吃蛋糕。至今，只有那天在豆原吃的柠檬蛋糕让我回味无穷；并不是那味道特别好，只是吃出了做蛋糕的人的用心还有主人热情地招呼。
还有把蜡烛吹一吹，生日愿望也不会真的实现。
可是，生日愿望嘛，我还是会许，总要给自己一个希望一个机会嘛！
我的愿望是如斯简单，如斯单纯，可也是最难实现的。

苦咖啡，生日快乐。

我还真希望你出现，带我去茅草山呢，Haiz...

by_bittercoffee

Y

幸福与不灭

现在的我，只想好好地隐藏心中的那把火。

它会在我心里，不灭；
但，我只想把它藏起来。
就算被别人发现了，一笑而过将会是我回答的方式；
我爱他，并没有什么好讨论的。

也因为，我没勇气！
我，不过是个没勇气的家伙。

从前的我，接受一个人都不经过大脑思考。
被伤害了，轮到我伤害别人；是因为害怕了，所以就得像刺猬一样保护自己。
后来的后来这几年，身边出现了很多人，可是我发觉原来要找一个真正适合和相爱的人真的很难，因为你一生中或许就只有那么一个！

我最讨厌那些把那分手当口头禅的情侣，多么幼稚；
反之，我很羡慕那些恩爱的小两口，因为他们知道何为珍惜。

我现在心里唯一的想法就是：他幸福就好！
我不是在伴伟大，只是这是我单身的这些年来所领悟的一些事。

相爱没那么容易啊！
因为这是两个人的事，一个人是永远办不到的。

我的心，慢慢的，慢慢的，沉淀了。

by_bittercoffee

R

一个人

曾经好几次冲动地想让你知道，想对你坦白，
可是最终还是努力地压抑着自己的情感。
深怕一爆发，后果并不是自己想象的那样！

我在想，何时应该告诉你？
又或许，没这必要。

发觉，你我的距离太遥远了。
领悟，你我似乎不太可能。
伤感，你从来没真正地看过我。
明白，单恋原来是件痛苦的事。

原来，我还是一个人。
一个人。

by_bittercoffee

E

不经意

你总是不经意地说一些会让人误会的字眼，
你总是不经意地说一些会让人伤心的字眼；
你的不经意总是让人欢喜让人忧。
你的不经意是故意还是真的不经意？
我好想问你，可是“算了吧”是你常说的话。
难道你不知道这是敷衍吗？
再一次，心落空了！

一直猜不透你的心，所以更想闯进你的内心。

懊恼！
懊恼是因为你猜不透的心思，
懊恼是因为你的心芳从没让我进去过，
懊恼是因为你的敷衍。

可是你从来都不知道这一切。

对了，你最近变得有点冷漠。
难道你知道了吗？

by_bittercoffee

R

past

Once, you hurted me deeply but I still loving you so much. You choose not to appreciate my love but cheated me once and again. Eventually, my little fragile heart broke like crystal and it is no longer repairable, scars are emerged after the wounds stitched. However, I appreciate the hurts you gave me, it enable me to grow more mature, and discern what are guys' real features and how hypocritical they are.

Well, I am glad that I never forget your birthday or specially call it to rememberance. It is impossible to delete you completely from my mind, the remnant of the memories still rewinding in recollection. I am not computer or electrical device, I can't entirely forget a person by just clicking a button. I will not forget you because you are pasrt of my past, your existence prove that I lived in the past.

You told me not to rest on the past, we must look forward and the past should not affect the present time. I tried hard and finally I succeed in letting you go, not being able to affect my life anymore.

Happy Birthday to you.

Orange, your favourite colour.
This is the last post I wrote about you, no more post about you will ever appear in my blog after this because my heart accomodate with another person, there is no more space for you.

0526
by_bittercoffee

旅程

没有你的旅程，少了一份甜蜜。

没有你的旅程，多了一份孤单。

我邀请你加入我的生活旅程，可以吗？

因为孤单的夜，寂静得很，让我害怕；

因为想你的夜，太多了，这是种折磨；

因为呼吸的每一个氧气原子，都是你的影子；

因为你总是出现在我的记忆里，挥霍不去；

因为我想要每天都告诉你：我。爱。你。

突然好想你！

[ 我猜不到你真正的感觉，

思念写成脸上的黑眼圈。

有的时候我宁愿你对我坏一点，

无法停止幻想我们的永远。

爱你是孤单的心事，不懂你微笑的意思，

只能像一朵向日葵在夜里默默地坚持；

爱你是孤单的心事，多希望你对我诚实，

一直爱着你，用我自己的方式。

我在你心里，有没有一点特别？

就怕你终究没发现，我还在你身边。]

-- 孤单心事

by_bittercoffee

F