It's back.

Sometimes you think it is coming near to you, but in fact it is not. And this is exactly what I am feeling right now. All of this just doesn't seem correct! I really hate to say that the feeling has come back! You know what the feeling I am talking about, and you know that this is the circumstance I scared the most. But it did really get back to me, how sad it is. I am totally out of my wits, feeling like want to get away from everything, stop to hear anything, or just let my mind be blank.

At the very start, I have been asking myself if this is the right choice. My heart answer me, since you have already decided, that's it...not much you have to think over. The thought induced me to put aside all the doubts and worries for a while. Then when I looked at your unsophisticated eyes, all the thoughts that feared me were gone. So, I didn't think about the worries anymore. However, it does come back to me over and over again. But then I tried hard to persuade myself that nothing to be worried about. This sounds like I am escaping something right ? Yea, I do. Something, something that I have no dare to confront.

I have no idea what I should do now, neither I could halt nor continue.

Rose is so beautiful and yet it is thorny.
I looked at the vermeil rose and yet I was feeling sad.

There's a secret deep in my heart. Big one.

by_bittercoffee