一个人

曾经好几次冲动地想让你知道，想对你坦白，
可是最终还是努力地压抑着自己的情感。
深怕一爆发，后果并不是自己想象的那样！

我在想，何时应该告诉你？
又或许，没这必要。

发觉，你我的距离太遥远了。
领悟，你我似乎不太可能。
伤感，你从来没真正地看过我。
明白，单恋原来是件痛苦的事。

原来，我还是一个人。
一个人。

by_bittercoffee

E

不经意

你总是不经意地说一些会让人误会的字眼，
你总是不经意地说一些会让人伤心的字眼；
你的不经意总是让人欢喜让人忧。
你的不经意是故意还是真的不经意？
我好想问你，可是“算了吧”是你常说的话。
难道你不知道这是敷衍吗？
再一次，心落空了！

一直猜不透你的心，所以更想闯进你的内心。

懊恼！
懊恼是因为你猜不透的心思，
懊恼是因为你的心芳从没让我进去过，
懊恼是因为你的敷衍。

可是你从来都不知道这一切。

对了，你最近变得有点冷漠。
难道你知道了吗？

by_bittercoffee

R

past

Once, you hurted me deeply but I still loving you so much. You choose not to appreciate my love but cheated me once and again. Eventually, my little fragile heart broke like crystal and it is no longer repairable, scars are emerged after the wounds stitched. However, I appreciate the hurts you gave me, it enable me to grow more mature, and discern what are guys' real features and how hypocritical they are.

Well, I am glad that I never forget your birthday or specially call it to rememberance. It is impossible to delete you completely from my mind, the remnant of the memories still rewinding in recollection. I am not computer or electrical device, I can't entirely forget a person by just clicking a button. I will not forget you because you are pasrt of my past, your existence prove that I lived in the past.

You told me not to rest on the past, we must look forward and the past should not affect the present time. I tried hard and finally I succeed in letting you go, not being able to affect my life anymore.

Happy Birthday to you.

Orange, your favourite colour.
This is the last post I wrote about you, no more post about you will ever appear in my blog after this because my heart accomodate with another person, there is no more space for you.

0526
by_bittercoffee

旅程

没有你的旅程，少了一份甜蜜。

没有你的旅程，多了一份孤单。

我邀请你加入我的生活旅程，可以吗？

因为孤单的夜，寂静得很，让我害怕；

因为想你的夜，太多了，这是种折磨；

因为呼吸的每一个氧气原子，都是你的影子；

因为你总是出现在我的记忆里，挥霍不去；

因为我想要每天都告诉你：我。爱。你。

突然好想你！

[ 我猜不到你真正的感觉，

思念写成脸上的黑眼圈。

有的时候我宁愿你对我坏一点，

无法停止幻想我们的永远。

爱你是孤单的心事，不懂你微笑的意思，

只能像一朵向日葵在夜里默默地坚持；

爱你是孤单的心事，多希望你对我诚实，

一直爱着你，用我自己的方式。

我在你心里，有没有一点特别？

就怕你终究没发现，我还在你身边。]

-- 孤单心事

by_bittercoffee

F

明白

望着辽阔的蓝天，我想着你在想什么呢？

你心里想的那个人，会是我吗？

你心情不好时，我想安慰你，可是我不是个很会安慰别人的人，尤其是面对你。

所以我只想安静地陪着你。静静的。
你问我，值得那样做吗？

是的，值得的。因为想让你知道，你并不是一个人。

好比里头粉色的小花，它并不孤单。

我想在你身边，可以吗？

[ 我只是要你明白，明白我对你的爱。

除了你，我的爱无法取代。

我只是要你明白，明白我对你的爱。

没有人，让我如此的依赖。]

--丁当

by_bittercoffee

F

梦见了

你总不相信我说的话，总是质疑我说的一切。虽然我知道你只是说说而已，可是那些无心伤害的话却刺痛了我的心。

真的，这又是一个梦见你的夜晚。
因为你的出现，所以那是一个很甜很甜的梦。可是我竟然忘了那梦里的故事！
下次，下次我一定要把所有有你的梦境都记起来，那我才有证据！不会再哑口无言了。

最近的梦，总是出现你的影子。越来越想你了。该如何好呢？

现在好想见你，好想听你的声音！

by_bittercoffee

E

改变

从今天起，我改用华语来写部落格。
因为我不想让你知道我写的一切都是关于你，

因为我知道你不会看华语，

因为我想好好埋藏这秘密。

因为，你不属于我。

说或不说只是一线之差，或许有一天我内心里的小小火山爆发时，我会告诉你这秘密。

by_bittercoffee

J

I am falling for you

I dreamed of you again...whenever the situation with your existence will be a sweet memory, regardless of any grief happened. The answer is simply because of you. Because of you, everything just becomes fine.

It is the first time I feel that you are the one who I really wanted desperately. Even though I am well-known that I am not eligible for it, perhaps, but I would like to have a try. Definitely not now. It needs time to prove the feeling, it cannot barely say but no action. Yes, I deem. You stepped into my heart with a minuet at first. However, the flower blossomed out suddenly these few days, futhermore bestrew the lake of love with those small yet pretty flowers.

You are not a man in the street, you are such an extraodinary guy to me as the first person that I like the whole shoot, including your weakness and whatever not good. All your weakness converted to the good ones automatically. The one who gives the feeling to me as you would never be found in my life ever again because you are impossible to find on the other earth. Perhaps I am crazy for you, so I see no spot in you. Moreover, I feel distressed about the situation you are in now. I wished I could console and caress you as you stray from the right path, but you seemed found the correct way of life. I am very happy with that indeed.

My dear, has a nice day...

by_bittercoffee

missing you

I miss you, but I didn't tell you. Unless the degree of missing you reach a certain level, and it is incapable to be kept in the small room, heart, anymore. I want to tell you how badly I miss you every moment, but I am feared of the ignoring attitude again. And, I just don't understand you: Is someone deep in your heart that you cannot let go? In fact, a simple sentence, is enough to lighten up my day. But you would never tell me this.

The fist size little thing is pumping as long as I am still alive in this world. Whithin my body, the red colour blood circulate in the body over and over again. It is just blood. Besides carrying oxygen and nutrients to the body cells, blood also transports hormone to stimulate my body cells to miss you. So, the body cells brim of your charmingly images and your lovely voice. I can't stop to miss you.

It is undeniable that you grow in my heart, like a seed; whenever I miss you, nutrients are added to it, allowing this wonderful creature to become the flower with mellow hue. But the extraordinary of this small flower is the immortality of it's soul. Yes, it has a soul. This indicates that no end in this path, I have to continue it for life.

11.00am
by_bittercoffee

You are my star

You asked me:" Why are the stars so beautiful and why they are blinking all the time?" Lol, I regard this as a science question. Stars are blinking because the atmosphere is always windy and fluctuating, result in the position of the images are always changing. Hence, the stars appear to twinkle. This is my answer at first. But you told me that the stars are twinkling just because of the unique one, that is you. By the reason of you are chosen, so the eye of the night are twinkling.

Well, I have no idea about it. People always say the starry sky is beautiful. To my way of thinking, this is because of the foil of the dark background makes the stars are dazzling. Hence, the starlit night can be extraordinary lovely. However, I do believe that everyone on earth are unique, as you said, as well as the stars above the sky.

What you said today is not like what you would say normally. But I can trace it in your blog, the sentences you wrote are pretty and sentimental. I love to read your blog. Hopefully I can understand you more and more. And I wish what you said is exactly what you think in your mind...Hrm...

I am looking forward the time when we meet because I am gonna to impress you, baby. Lol ~

by_bittercoffee

< I hope >

You would never know that I like you. Even though you knew about it, but you just ignored it.

I hope to get your call whenever I need someone to be by my side.
I hope to see you whenever I miss you.
I hope to get your message though it is only a "hi."
I hope I can by your side when you feel stress.
I hope I can accompany you in your sleepless night until you fall sleep.
I hope I can make some food and take it for you when you say you have no time to eat.
I hope to take good care of you so that you won't fall sick easily.

And yet, all of those "I hope" above would not come true.
I also hope that you are my guardian angel. But your burden seems like too heavy, and I just don't want to bother you. Besides, I should not emerge in your world, and throw your life into confusion. I have no choice but to keep this secret in my heart.

by_bittercoffee